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it was just a moment.
a weak moment where i was just only
gazing at the madness of beauty embodied.
and as it were
i stared into the eye of the needle storm
where three days passing
became like three years in limbo
and my body filmed with nerve-sick sweat,
from within a shell of brittle flesh
i could only watch with 72 hour eyes .
©2009-2010 *DgenRetEliteRabbit
:icondgenreteliterabbit:

Author's Comments

i've been working on something, this is a piece of it.


there's a silence surrounding me
i can't seem to think straight
i'll sit in the corner
no one can bother me
i think i should speak now
i can't seem to speak now
my words won't come out right
i feel like i'm drowning...

--'keep talking' pink floyd (gilmour)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwisker:
I love your writing. Theres always something quotable in each page you do. I was going to paste up my favorite line but ended up selecting the whole piece. :/ which would have been a bit redundant lol.

--
Join the club ~20thCenturyWarfare

"The Pope! how many divisions has he got?"
- Stalin
:icontorturedremembrance:
I do wish I could respond with something as amazing as you wrote, but I am at a bit of a loss. I just know that this is fantastic, and I regret not getting to read it before now.

--
Say something; anything.
:iconelegantfaith:
That last line is so hard hitting.

--
"Be kind to all you meet because everyone is fighting some kind of battle."
:icondgenreteliterabbit:
:blush:

--
RUN, rabbit, run
dig that hole, forget the sun
and when at last the work is done
don't sit down, time to dig another one

steps taken forward
and sleepwalking back again...
encumbered forever by desire and ambition
#TheWritersMeow
:iconanalillithbar:
I came in at "viii"... had to come back to the beginning -thanks for posting all the links in the author's note- this series intrigues me...

Your writing is always full of surprises, though I hardly ever comment.

This series looks to be quite entertaining.

My only suggestion would be in line 4 you wrote, "and is it were"

Do you mean... "and is it where"?

Off to #2. :D
++++++++++++++++++ :sprint:

--
:love::la::heart:
:icondgenreteliterabbit:
i fixed it, it was "and as it were" an incidental i guess.

thank you for reading, i really appreciate it. glad this was so well-received.

--
RUN, rabbit, run
dig that hole, forget the sun
and when at last the work is done
don't sit down, time to dig another one

steps taken forward
and sleepwalking back again...
encumbered forever by desire and ambition
#TheWritersMeow
:iconanalillithbar:
I'm glad to know it was well received, too. It's a very good read. Can't wait to check out the next few installments. Kind of in the middle of a time crunch at the moment. Will let you know when I get a chance to read the others you've posted.


:iconcupid:

--
:love::la::heart:
:iconcharlemaine:
OH MY. one of the most novel things yet to come out of your recent arsenal. i like it very, very much

"i stared into the eye of the needle storm" ... "i could only watch with 72 hour eyes"...loving those phrases!

--
:blackrose::kiss::blackrose::kiss:
I Want Your Horror
I Want Your Design
I Want Your Love and
I Want Your Revenge.
:icondgenreteliterabbit:
best lines i've written in years i think. thanks. i'm glad you liked this.

--
RUN, rabbit, run
dig that hole, forget the sun
and when at last the work is done
don't sit down, time to dig another one

steps taken forward
and sleepwalking back again...
encumbered forever by desire and ambition
#TheWritersMeow

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November 9, 2009
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